Cruel Intentions 2: Manchester Prep - Cruel and Unusual Punishment

Cruel Intentions 2 - The Name Says It All.

If one could "unsee" and "unhear" a movie, indeed if such a thing were possible, if one could "unwatch" a movie, Cruel Intentions 2: Manchester Prep would be the movie I would most want to unsee and unhear.

This movie is a prequel to 1999's vastly better movie, Cruel Intentions and was created as a pilot for a FOX TV series. The words "prequel" and "created as a pilot for FOX" should probably tell you all you need to know about what kind of experience you're in for. More words like, putrid, vile, painful and vomit inducing will give you an even clearer picture of what you're getting into with this one.


The plot, if you want to call it that, revolves around teenager Sebastian Valmont (Robin Dunn) being whisked off to Manchester Prep School For Really Evil Rich White Kids, after his multi-Zillionaire father marries Tiffany Merteuil (Mimi Rogers). Once at school Seb meets his evil stepsister Kathryn Merteuil (Amy Adams). Kathryn bets Sebastian something about being able to deflower the headmaster's daughter Danielle Sherman (Sarah Thompson). There's some other characters of some sort, an attempt at a twist ending, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.... I promise, you won't care.

The acting is in a word, atrocious. The writing is juvenile. All the characters lack charm and appeal, there isn't one that the viewer can invest any interest in whatsoever. Dunne isn't sure whether he's doing comedy or drama, so he settles for a sort of bland goofiness that is difficult to watch. Adam's attempts to make Kathryn look all evil and bossy by staring off into space and sucking in her cheekbones to the point of nearly inverting her jaws. Most of the time she appears more constipated than evil. The rest of the cast just plods through the film trying to appear witty and devilish, but ending up looking either childish or some weird combination of constipated, bored and stupid, all the while trying not to look embarrassed.

The only thing that might make anyone want to watch this perfectly awful piece of dreck is the DVD version, which features a shower-scene of Sebastian with some naked twins (Alicia & Anne Sorell). Yet even this completely gratuitous nudity doesn't come across as sexy, it comes across as obvious and rather goofy thanks to Dunne's "ah shucks" Jethro antics during the scene. If you must watch Cruel Intentions 2, select the "pan and scan" rather than the widescreen version. At least this way you'll see slightly less of the movie.

The makers of this horrible film obviously had the intention of making something of a parody of rich white prep schools. Unfortunately, they ended up making a parody of their own work. Cruel Intentions 2: Manchester Prep, is never sexy, never interesting, rarely amusing and even then unintentionally so. But cruel? Most definitely!