Jaws 4: The Revenge - Bad Movie? You're Soaking In It!

Jaws 4: The Revenge: This time, it's personal - Originally published 10/11/99


Jaws was a great movie. Jaws 2 was an O.K. movie, Jaws 3 was a bad movie.

Jaws 4: The Revenge, defies description. Words like "sucks", "bites", "crap" and "sewer" all come to mind, but none truly express the foulness of this motion picture. They come close, as close as mere words can at least.

Here's the, what I guess we'll have to call, PLOT.

Many years after the original JAWS, good old Amity police chief Martin Brody has been killed by a shark and it's not long before his widow Ellen Brody, played by human stick figure Lorraine Gary decides to get on with her life.

But this is complicated after her youngest son Sean (Mitchell Anderson) becomes a midnight snack on Christmas Eve for the shark (looks like Santa Jaws was coming to town, ahhahaha...sorry).

So Ellen goes to the Bahamas to stay with her other son Mike (Lance Guest). Soon she meets her love interest for the movie "Hoagie" played by Michael Caine. Meanwhile the shark has followed Ellen from New York to the Bahamas. Although it is never explained exactly how the shark did this, I suspect the shark used a sophisticated satellite-tracking device developed by Flipper.

Jaws the shark is determined to destroy his mortal enemy, the Brody family and begins attacking tourists in a vain attempt to get at various Brody grandchildren. So Ellen enlists the help of her son Mike, local shark expert Jake, played by Mario Van Peebles, and Hoagie to hunt down the enormous fish and wipe it out.

I won't bore you with all the little details (since I can't really recall them). But I will describe the BIG FINISH for you. Basically, all the stars end up on a big boat hunting Jaws the shark (sound familiar?) The Shark eats Hoagie's airplane (sort of a "plane" Hoagie I guess Ah hahaha, ahem), then sets his sites on the boat. The shark rears up out of the ocean several times and roars (with a voice that sounds strangely like Spot, the Munster's pet). Finally as all hope looks lost, Ellen steers the big boat at the shark which as luck might have it, jumps out of the water and is impaled on the ship's yardarm and is killed. Huzzah!

Jaws 4: The Revenge, is a painful film, it's idiotic premise is more laughable than exciting, and it's made even more painful by the fact that the stars must have thought that they were making a good movie. In the end "the revenge" does feel personal, but what did the audience do to deserve this!?